My DH and I have just been through 3 mc's and one failed IVF due to his balance translocation, so we have decided to start the process of donor sperm. He was actually the one who said he wanted to do this instead of continuing with more IVF's. I am comfortable telling my immediate family (mom, sister and brother) about it. We have always been very close and I feel like it would only help to have their support. My DH is really not open to talking about this with anyone. He definitely does not want to tell his side of the family. His one brother knows because he said he would be willing to be a donor, but if we fgo with an anonymous donor he doesn't even want him to know that. He has said that when it is appropriate we would talk to our child about where they came from which I think is very important, but other then that he has asked me not to say anything. I respect his feelings and I know this is so hard for him right now to be dealing with all of this. I guess I am just wondering will it get easier for him? Will he at some point be ok with me talking to my family about it maybe once the child is here? We are going to go to counseling at my RE's clinic so I am going to bring it up there so we can discuss it more. I just really feel like this is nothing we should hide away as some dark family secret and if the child is going to know then what are we going to tell him or her that they can't say anything cause no one else knows about it?! I guess it can be more difficult for men. If my eggs were bad I would have no problem telling anyone that asked. I wish this weren't so hard. Any insight anyone has would be really great. Thanks!
Lisa