DH and I have been TTC 4+ years now, and have done the whole IVF with ICSI. ICSI fertilizes them just fine (only 1 out of 8 fertilized without it), and we have had dozens of eggs become embryos. But after 2 fresh IVF and 3 FETs (not to mention the IUIs and timed cycles in the beginning), we have had only 2 BFPs--one m/c at 7 weeks and the other was a chemical. IVF is not only really hard on my body (severe OHSS), but it's too expensive and we just can't do it again.
We are close to the end of this journey, and have begun to think that if the IVFs aren't working maybe we could try DS w/ IUI. There are, of course, no guarantees with that either, but it would be our last ditch effort before stopping TTC completely.
DH is okay with DS (we have actually chosen someone we know), but he wants to do a 50/50 split between his sperm and DS. That way we'll never know which one took. He wants to leave it at that, but I have thoughts about what to tell a child at some future point. DH is dead set against ever telling child anything, and feels that would not only drive a wedge between him and child, but would also be "rubbing his face in it." Obviously this is a very sensitive topic for him, and we're working through it. But it has been hard.
Has anyone else done something similar? If so, what was your thought process? Is anyone further down the road and what is your experience?
I really want to have a child, but I want to resolve any of these issues ahead of time for obvious reasons. And I do realize full well that with our history we may well be in exactly the same place we are now. But at least we would know we had tried everything we could.
Thank you in advance for any thoughts.